The passing of family heirlooms from one generation to another should be a welcome tradition in most families, but unfortunately, this process can cause long-lasting family rifts if not done properly.
There are many stories of families that have split over a quilt or a portrait of a long-dead ancestor. In fact, you may be surprised to discover that far more family conflicts happen as a result of “things” than money.
If you don’t want that to happen in your family, here’s what you can do as part of your estate planning:
1. Add specific designations to your Will and/or Trust
Typically, a Will or Trust will specify that all personal property goes to the “residue” and is split equally between all heirs. But you may want to get more specific with items that are already family heirlooms or that you want to become family heirlooms.
All too often children will discover after Mom or Dad have passed that the wedding rings were promised to more than one sibling. This is why it is important to create a list of your family heirlooms, assign names to each item and share that list during a family gathering while you’re still alive and well. This list (formally called a personal property memorandum) can then be incorporated into your will or trust, so it becomes legally binding. A great alternative to a list is taking photos of each item and writing the name of the person you want to receive that item on the back.
2. Make it fun
Indicate in your Will and/or Trust that you want your family to make it a game and “auction off” your special items. Each family member can be given “credits” to use to “bid” on the items they want. Or you could suggest that items be chosen round-robin style with each family member getting to make one choice (starting with youngest or oldest, as designated by you) before going back around for family member’s to make their second choice. Then, after all the picking is done, family members can trade amongst themselves.
3. Give it away during life
One of the best ways to ensure your family doesn’t fight after you are gone is to give away family heirlooms during your lifetime. By doing this, you can create even more connections with the people you love.
4. Leave a recorded legacy
I’ve found the best way to pass on more than just your money is to record a story associated with each one of your family heirlooms. Include where the heirloom came from, who you are passing it onto and the special significance it has to you. This recording is likely to become the most valuable asset you can leave behind.
This article is a service of the Law Office of Keoni Souza, LLC, an estate planning law firm in Honolulu, Hawaii. We don’t just draft documents; we ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love. That's why we offer a Family Wealth Planning Session, ™ during which you will get more financially organized than you’ve ever been before, and make all the best choices for the people you love. You can begin by contacting our office today to schedule a Family Wealth Planning Session and mention this article to find out how to get this $750 session at no charge.
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